Current mood:	cheerful
Current music:	"Watched you fall" By Meredith Brooks

Rating: PG
Spoilers: Pilot
Disclaimer: abc

"Cold"

Set before the funeral- Rex`s Pov, tbc.

„Are you ready?“ Rex watched his wife slowly turn around at the sound of his voice.
“Yes, we can go.” There it was again, that plastered, faked smile he hated so much.
“Look, can´t you just drop it?” She looked confused and Rex felt a strange stroke of triumph, it was hard to get Bree out of her pleasant cheerfulness these days.
“What do you mean?”
“That smile- that attitude. I mean, you have to be upset.”
“Of course I am, what makes you even question that?”
“Then show it, damn, Bree, she was one of your closest friends, how can you be so cold?”
“You think I´m cold?”
“Yes- you havn´t even cried after you heard about her suicide, you havn´t showed a single emotion, you´ve just been picking out that perfect outfit and baked your perfect muffins and arranged them perfectly in those baskets and that was it- how am I supposed to not think you´re cold?”
He watched all colour drain from his wife´s face and for a moment he wondered if it would have been better not to say anything but then he remembered how often he had come close to simply pack his things and leave her lately and even though he knew that having this conversation ten minutes before their neighbours funeral probably wasn´t the best idea he couldn´t risk to wait any longer.
Also he had seen it coming he felt himself getting angry when Bree turned away from him, shutting him out, hiding herself from him, again.
He firmly grasped her arm and pulled her around again, startled to see tears streaming down her face.
She tried to get out of his grip but he wouldn´t let her, instead he pulled her to him and closed his arms tightly around her.
Once she had started crying Bree didn´t seem to be able to stop again, she hid her face in her husband´s neck and began to sob violently, her slim body trembling all over.
“Hey-“ Rex felt a bit helpless, he hadn´t seen her cry in years and even though he had been hoping for her to open up a bit when he confronted her about her lack of showing emotions, he hadn´t planned on her flinging herself into his arms and break down completely.
He stroked her back soothingly, nuzzling her soft hair and wondering what to do now, they really had to leave, they would be late for church and Bree would never forgive him if they were.
There was a hesitant knock and Rex looked up and saw his daughter standing in the doorframe.
Bree hadn´t reacted at all and Danielle stared incredulously at her mother, obviously completely lost for words.
Rex shook his head at his daughter and Danielle hesitated, then mouthed “We´ll go without you then”, pointing at her watch.
Rex nodded, then concentrated on his wife again, who was still crying, her arms wrapped around his neck, her neat black blouse and his crisp shirt wrinkled and tearstained by now.
Rex realized that there was no way they would make it to the church in time, even if Bree managed to pull herself together sometime soon they would have to change before they could leave the house and his wife´s whole make- up must be ruined, as was her hair.
He smiled at the thought and lifted up his hand to run it through the vividly red strands, messing them up even more.
Bree would probably not speak to him for the rest of the day when she realized that he had effectively destroyed all her efforts to make the most perfect impression but when she looked up with tears clinging to her long black eyelashes and her hair curling around her face Rex thought that the sight of her alone was worth every bit of trouble he might be in now.
“Rex?”
“Yeah?”
“I don´t want to end up like her…”
“What?”
Her words had shocked him completely, she was supposed to be strong and to be in control and she obviously wasn´t at all.
She began to cry again and Rex pressed his lips to her temple, his arms tightening around her.
“Bree, don´t ever say something like that again, never, do you hear me.”
“I love you, Rex, I love you so much but you´re drifting further and further away and I have no idea what to do…”
He didn’t know what to say to that so just kept holding her, wondering how he could have been so wrong about her.
He had been in love with her for more than twenty years, for heaven´s sake, how could he have missed the signs- he knew that Bree wasn´t a person to say such things lightly, not even to think them.
If she was saying it out loud in front of him it meant she had actually given the idea a lot of thought- Rex felt an icy shower run down his spine when he realized how much time she had spend alone in the house with four loaded guns she perfectly well knew to use.
The thought made his knees weak and he sank down on the bed, pulling Bree into his lap and pressing her against his chest.
“Oh God, how could I not know about this, how could I lie next to you every night and not realizing how unhappy you were, what kind of husband am I? I actually wondered about meals and parties and weekend plans while you were wondering if you wanted to live at all any more.”
“Rex-“
“No, wait, I have to say something else first. I love you, Bree, granted, you´re driving me crazy and if it was up to me we would change almost every detail of our life but I really do love you and you´ve just scared the hell out of me.”
He felt tears burn in his eyes and didn´t try to hold them back- why should he pretend he was all right when he had just learned that his own egoism and ignorance had almost lost him the most precious thing in his life, when he was sitting her in his best suit and instead of attending his neighbours funeral in it had to get over the fact that if he hadn´t taken his chance to talk to his wife, next time he might as well have put it on to attend her´s.